Edwin, I was taught basically how you were. I grew up being afraid of God, being afraid that He saw everything I did and was judging me. Not sure whether my mom really believed that or if it was her way of controlling me when SHE wasn't watching.

Much later in life, something inside me told me that what I had been taught wasn't quite right. I went to a Bible study class and found out that God had been misrepresented to me. One of the first Bible verses that my mom taught me was "God is Love." So, if God is love, why was He to be feared? I saw Jesus as an aloof person that walked among the crowds with his nose in the air. He called his mother "woman." To me, that was highly disrespectful. In Bible study I found out that my perceptions were all wrong. God IS all about LOVE.

1. He created us in His own image.
2. After humanity went astray (Adam and Eve) He became flesh and dwelt among us. Went through what every human goes through.
3. He was scorned, beaten, abused, crucified, shed his blood which was necessary for our atonement then
4. He died.
5. He conquered Hell
6. He conquered the grave and rose again
7. He ascended into Heaven and said He was going to prepare a place for all those who loved Him.

He did all of this so we, His creation, wouldn't have to. If that isn't love, then I don't know what is.

If we accept his sacrifice for us He is quick to forgive. He understands the temptations we go through. He went through them, too. He knows how it feels to be friendless; his disciples abandoned Him in His our of need. He knows how it feels to be poor and hungry. He knows how it feels when we think God has abandoned us. Why would He go through all of this if He didn't love us?

I don't know what happens in the after-life, between the time our bodies die and when He comes back for the believers, but because I accept Jesus Christ, his love and his sacrifice, I know that if a thief hanging on a cross next to Jesus was told that he'd be in Paradise with Him that day, then I know that I will be, too, when I shed this mortal body.

An afterthought; we as humans tend to see God in the same light that we see our parents. If they were/are stoic, we see God as stoic. If they were/are angry, we see God as an angry God. If they were/are abusive, we see God as abusive. He is NONE of these things. He is perfect, unconditional love!

That doesn't mean that He just pats us on the head when we go against His wishes and says "That's okay, kid. I'll pretend it didn't happen." No, He wants us to admit that we know we did wrong, that we didn't resist temptation as we well could have and ask His forgiveness with a heart felt effort to not make that same mistake again. But even if we do, He understands. He may put us through the same challenge again and again until we learn our lesson, but He forgives!

God loves you, Edwin. No need to be afraid of Him.