I have dated a borderline person before and it was the most intoxicating and rapid relationship I have ever had. He told me EVERYTHING about himself... the good, bad and ugly. He has "never been in love, abused as a child, always got cheated on, and SI stories" I was mystified by his openeness and willing to share. I am not the most open person and I deal with guilt over things I have done while "not well" and I was in denial about my own illness. In hindsight, I was also in a prolonged hypomanic state and felt like our paths crossed for a reason. It was as if I was his beacon of light and I could be his savior of sorts.

So, I jumped right in... I felt like I could help him like no one has done before and that he could teach me how to be accepting. It was a great first 3 months...

Then, I had the constant barrage of texts, phone calls and even showing up at my job bc I was acting shady or I was being avoident. He didn't understand that I did not have complete access to my phone while at work and I typically worked 12 hour shifts on average. He called me every name in the book and even tried to turn my few friends and the few family members I talk to against me. He created fake fb accounts and tried to lure me into inappropriate convos to "catch my infedility". I never strayed from him or lied to him.

Eventually, he seemed to come back around to the guy I was infatuated with in the beginning. He apologized for the hurtful things and actions he did or said. Of course, I blamed myself for some of the issues by thinking maybe I hadn't become as open as I thought I have been or that my inner conflictions (unmedicated BP and stubbornness) somehow made me "emotionally unavailable ". We had another short, but whirlwind state of relationship bliss.

Until, he failed his classes... that was somehow my fault because I didn't help him study or I didn't take his online exams for him, etc. He said the most awful, putrid things to me. (That's saying a lot bc I grew up with two very toxic and abusive parents.) He had this blind rage and inability to see what HE DID... he always had a reason or a scapegoat for everything. In the end of every fight or argument (in his words), I was the reason he wasn't successful or happy and that I deserved to be treated horribly bc I was the most awful person he had ever met.

But, it seriously took up until the point where he barricaded me in a closet demanding me to tell him who I have been sleeping with or he wasn't going to let me out. Reality set in right then and there... I called the cops and was fearful of how this night would end. He ended up staying the night in jail. I immediately changed my number, locks and transferred to another branch within my company. His behaviour was not conducive to my mental stability and I had to disappear.

Up until this day, I get the varying emails of how much he loves me and that I am and always be his world to how much he hates me, blames me, and wishes cancer on me. I never reply... I just can't fall down that rabbit hole again. And I save every single one of them just in case he does try to come "get me".

Our relationship lasted less than a year and I am so glad that I was one that got to get away before it was too late.

I loved him very much and wish that he was always the person I first met, but in reality, he is that dark, hate fueled savage. He just masked his true self long enough to catch another victim.