Both my parents spent their fair share of time "in treatment" as they liked to put it. I am a firm believer that my mother is BP1 as well as an addict. My dad falls into BPD and BP2. They will never admit to anyone about anything that happened over the course of my childhood and I have come to terms with it. But, I fully recognize the patterns and eventual downfalls they each had.

So, flash forward.... I was in a particularly manic state (hindsight) and I ended up stealing a car one weekend and then got into a bar fight bc I felt I could take on the biggest male or female there. (I was a college athlete at the time, strong and in really good shape). I fought a drunk guy and I ended up being arrested... that was completely unacceptable bc I was the overachiever type, and I felt like kind of a bad a (still full on mania). I decided not to call anyone to bail me out and that I was going to be the supreme leader of all the misfits (prisioners). I spent 2 weeks in jail bc of grandiose delusions. Finally, I got depressed and called for a bond... at that point my doc said I was suffering from PTSD and depression due to my childhood.

This was the first time I had attempted the MI talk with my family... btw, my grandparents ended up taking me from my parents around 12, so it was the whole family unit. My grandparents are grassroots Christians and avid Tea Party members. So, when I brought it up they wanted to "lay hand on me and let Jesus heal me"... I wish it were that easy.

A few years and progressively worse episodes later, I was coming off a particularly euphoric mania and BOOM... SI hits... hits hard enough that I actively seek help. I get a BP diagnosis on top of my pre-existing ADHD... then, I completely hyper focus and obsess over learning about my new dx. I actually developed the idea that I would be the next innovative psychological thinker during that period. That went away and I ended up denying the dx.

Once again, equipped with all this new knowledge and confidence, I call my parents separately and ask each one about the other. They have been divorced for a LONG time now, so I figured I would get some kind of legitimate answers from them about the other... NOPE! "But, it's a genetic/hereditary illness", I would tell them and neither one would budge. They were both fully engulfed in their own perspective addictions at this point.

So, to try to track any family history or link, I hit up the open records to see if I could piece any tactile evidence to shove in their faces... the repeated theme over a period of 7 years was domestic abuse against my father and charges never filed by my mother... duh, I witnessed most of that...

So, I began to call on sisters and other relatives and they all shared a similar theory that I had about them! Finally getting there...

Well about 2 years after my 1st dx I got the same dx from a different pdoc. This time I was actually afraid of myself and my capabilities, so I took it seriously.

I decided to break the news to my "family" afterwards... once again I was met with Jesus and flat out denial of any issues concerning my parents MI status. Collectively, they all pretty much ganged up on me... this whole time I was wondering where their righteous Jesus went... and they threatened having me involuntarily committed, cut off, called me a disgrace to our family, I was no longer invited outings, send me to a church style bootcamp (Jesus reemmerged) and I was pretty much ejected from my familial ties.

The only time they want anything to do with me is when it concerns my kiddo. But, I do relent to their desires, I'm always stereotyped by this horrible idea of what BP is. They tell me that that they feel my kiddo would be better off in a "stable" environment or that I am going to impact her psyche in a negative manner... they still chalk it up to attention seeking bc I never lived up to my potential. Once again, I bring up the HEREDITARY link and statistics backing it up and they blow me off.

So, I was rejected by pretty much my whole family for coming to terms and coping with a disease that they choose not to see, believe or they think it's some f'n fairytale...

Honestly, it hurt at first. But, after accepting and educating myself and developing coping skills... I COULD CARE LESS what they think and they can take their "holier than thou" sentiments and try to ignore life in their tiny little worlds.

I feel that they don't want to accept it bc then they would have to rationally think and see what I see... they (esp my parents) have been living unmedicated for years and they mask it by self medicating and abuse.

So, for all you guys out there struggling with your family..
Yeah, it would be amazing, in some utopian world to have everyone you tell show you overwhelming support, but having this disorder does not impair us from having strength and self esteem. It's those that hide from it that are weak. We just tend to be a little more interesting and fun!

Once again, sorry about the rant... I'm just so sick of other people pushing their ideologies about BP onto people who are just seeking unconditional love and support.