When I got married I set down the set of rules & expectations that I had for the marriage (I was getting my degree & aiming for a career)....so I was in NO WAY going to be his slave.....marriage is a partnership...not JUST the husband working & bringing in money & the wife doing everything else (along with her career.

The crap about you not cooking dinner is just BS......I'm sure the week of your turning your back was because of something that he did also.....so he's not the one that in reality has the problem with you....you are the one that has the problem with him & his ways in the marriage.

Honestly, I don't know why you are wasting your time with him especially if he's not willing to go through intensive marriage counseling with a GOOD marriage counselor.

We just used my T for counseling both of us together not exactly marriage counseling.....sadly they didn't find out what was wrong with my H....just Dx'ed him with adult ADD.....looking back....I have researched Asperger's & that explains my marriage 100%.

I am sorry that I stuck around him for the 33 years. the first 20 & had college & my career that I hid out in...but when my career died, & I had to be around home because there were no engineering positions even available in the area.....I realized just how bad it REALLY WAS & it drove me to suicide attempts not for attention but because I felt it was my only way out. I'm glad that I wasn't successful now that I escaped.....but honestly.....I would stop making the decision be his to get the divorce....just file for it....if he doesn't want it then he needs to be the one that is willing to change & make the marriage work......I wouldn't waste my time with a guy like him honestly.....he's keeping you hanging around because he might not have anyone else or anything better right now & having problems with his job.....but that's NO excuse to make you miserable....he's being a selfish child & honestly you don't need to be married to someone like that....you are wasting your time & energy because it's only going to get worse unless he really wants to change.

Sometimes the hit over the head with filing for divorce is a wake up call...sometimes it's not. My H actually had the nerve to comment that he thought I would tolerate him for the rest of our lives.......I realize now that if I hadn't gotten out when I did, I would NOT be alive now.....why in the world would I want to tolerate that for the rest of my life just because I had for 33 years because in all reality, I realize that the things I left because of were the things that were the problem I had seen before I got married.

You need to take a stand & stop allowing yourself to continue to be treated in the way he's treating you....laying the blame for the marriage problem on you when in REALITY.....the fault is his.....you really want to stay in a marriage with a man that isn't even man enough to take responsibility for his behavior & feelings?........you know if he does get his act together later on in life & HE PROVES that he has.....there is nothing stopping getting married again....but don't waste your life NOW with someone like that. Even being alone is better than dealing with that kind of crap & a lot less stressful trying to finish your degree