Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
You've twice said in recent posts that you don't know why you are bothered about something. Do you see an individual counselor?
Here are my thoughts on your points, fwiw:
1. I am not seeing why comparisons of different people matter. I wonder if this line of discussion could just be ended on both sides.
2. She could well hold on to the cousin aspect of the guy if she grew up with him. Although not blood related, if I understand you correctly he was stepson to the uncle that you said was a great man. What is her extended family like generally?
3. She has not forgiven herself for sleeping with him perhaps 20 years ago?
Could you say more about this problem? This also is another point that could usefully be discussed with an individual counselor.
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Bill
Thanks for the reply. I was seeing a counselor but was not getting anywhere. I am looking for a new one.
To expand on the "decision" comment I am not a fan of her treating what happened between them like they just sat on the couch and had a conversation. For me sex is a big deal and not just a casual encounter that is shrugged off as nothing.
To reiterate my problems with this guy is that he is a dirt bag. He might have been good to her when they were 5 or 6 but ever since I have been in the picture I have never heard a good story about this guy. Only about how he deals drugs, tried to have sex with my wife's sister and their cousin, leaving family stranded in Mexico.
My wife's uncle was a great man. He divorced this guy's mom more than 10 years ago. This guy and his mom had actually cornered my wife at a funeral to tell her what a horrible person her uncle was. These people are way out in left field.
Her extended family is pretty messed up, her entire family is pretty messed up actually. Addiction and abuse are a standard for them.
She knows that when this guy came over he kept giving me looks and was looking down her shirt. He is an overall disrespectful person that I feel doesn't deserve to be a part of our life......ever. I think that he took advantage of her when they were extremely high on drugs and because of my wife's abusive past she blames herself.
My wife keeps talking about her past decisions........I think I am starting to see that I am disappointed with her current decisions.
Thanks.