Sounds a lot like me. I have mostly hypomanic episodes followed by the inevitable crash when I rapid cycle but my diagnostic is anger, belligerence, and paranoia. I'll get PO'd at the world and everyone around me is more of a jerk than me. My depression is often triggered by my realization (when I come off my hypomania) that I'll never be a professional mountaineer or go to med school. It is more than just "my life stinks" thinking.

But for me, I was in denial all along. I firmly believed it WAS everyone else's fault when it was actually me behaving in an incredibly abnormal fashion.

My wife and I had battled on and off for years and she was getting tired, coming to the point at which she said she wouldn't take it any more. Everyone in my house was on eggshells. During my depressive episodes, my wife would say "Don't bother dad.....don't talk to dad". So she urged me to go get help and I did. Two months later I'm a new work in progress!

I was honestly resistant because I was full of excuses - too busy, nothing wrong with me, doctors don't help, I can fix myself, etc. But it was the best decision I ever made.