ShyPoetGirl, like someone has said before, you are not alone. I just went off for a while in the thread " Effects of bullying on self esteem" a little about myself and my self esteem.

I used to be really cautious of "self esteem" thinking it was conceded. I felt the exact same way you did when I was your age, but I reached 19ish and I was lonely and unhappy with my face, and weight. But one day I was hanging out with an old buddy and he said to me that he needed to love himself before he tried going back to he's ex girlfriend.

That hit me that day, I don't know what it was, but it got to me.... I needed to love myself first. I still thought "loving myself" was cheesy, but I wanted to ACCEPT who I was. I found things that I enjoyed doing. I got over the fact that my pants were bigger then I wanted them to be, and I got to the point to that "I'm ok being alone" I was that way for almost a year. Than I met my husband. He and I talk about it all the time, because he went through the same thing, just being happy with himself, and was "happy being alone with the rest of his life" than we met. And it was just right. Now he was in that state for a couple of years. He was 26!! and I was 20 when we met.

ShyPoetGirl, our worst critics our ourselves. When I met my husband I was 30 lbs heavier, barely showered, and lived in a trailor! But he fell in-love with me! And its because I was ok with me. I just had to get over the critic of myself.

It may take time, but someday your going to just want to enjoy your life, it maybe today, tomorrow, next month, maybe several years, but you can start when ever your ready!

So in a nutshell, anyone can have self-esteem, you just have to find what you want to like about yourself.