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granite1 · Apr 03, 2015, 05:42 PM

im sitting here so badly wanting to share some of my past with my T and I just have once again no idea how to do it, or how to handle it ,or even why I want to tell her. I mean she know all about abuse and SA and so on but none of the details, or very few anyway. I really feel the need to explain in mre detail what went on with my brother and I don't know how to even bring it up .

Possible trigger:

I need her to know I was not the innocent child she keeps trying to tell me I was . I was responsible for the SA abuse that happened to my brother. if it was not for me the abuser would have never had him involved. he never touched my brother I did . she doesn't know this. I wouldn't cooperate with my abuser unless my brother was involved .so the abuser never touched him but instead I did the things he wanted me to do to my brother. she will tell me that the person who abused me is a monster ,or pond scum or however she wants to label him . but I am no different than that so when I hear about how sick people are made by child SA I think that is who I am and there is no changing that and she needs to know this.

I am not ready to hear anything about this from her but I need her to know what I did .im sorry if I have offended anyone I understand every once and a while I get the idea in my head that I should tell her the truth about me.

Possible trigger:

I have told her that I SA my brother and she gave me this song and dance about how I was just repeating what was done to me and I was young etc ... told her that was not the case but never elaborated on it .I am to ashamed. she just doesn't understand that it was not the situation at all.