My Support Forums - View Single Post - Dear T: I need to tell you something but I don't know how Part XIII

jaynedough · Apr 03, 2015, 06:01 PM

Hi T,
It's getting worse.

Possible trigger:

I don't think I can go on much longer.

I'm doing the assignment you gave me. I'm trying to stay out of bed. I fixed my bed. I'm trying, but I'm so freaking down. I've been crying alot for the past few days, especially after reading something my brother's kid wrote. It confirmed a huge worry I've had.

Possible trigger:

I know that I'm a burden. That child is missing out on so much b/c they won't sell the house while I'm here. If they had that money, things would be so much better. They deserve better.

It's just triggering me more. I know that you've said I deserve to live here. I'm so lost. I want to email or call you, but I won't. I feel like you put a moratorium on talking about this particular feeling. I feel like we're not defining things the same way. Stupid freaking semantics. As much as I need to see you, I'm thinking about cancelling my appointment next week. I'm in so much pain. It feels like my mind is critically ill. IDK where to turn to.