I'm frantically awaiting my "hearing" denial. I know they will deny me. I will become a statistic in a bad way when I finally get myself a job and I freak if something doesn't go well and paranoia sinks in over fear of losing the job. Hey, I've lived my whole life like that, I just didn't know why. Am I going to react differently? My therapist says that behaviors can be reversed. Why isn't he trying to help me reverse them?

I just know that if if and when I get denied, I absolutely will not, nor ever have faith in the system here again. The worst part will be having to partake in the system again that failed me, because I don't have the means to relocate to another country. Life really sucks more and more every day.