Seeya, One of you has to be the adult in the room, and you're the best hope for assuming that role. But to do that you've got to distinguish between the smoke-and-mirrors and the real substance of difficulties. Stop saying your husband is upset because you didn't cook 7 nights a week. Saying that makes you sound clueless. Anyone following your story has figured out by now that your husband has serious maturity/emotional issues that have nothing to do with who cooks what when. He throws that out as a "red herring," a distraction from the real problems. You need to read between the lines of all he has told, especially regarding his job. He's not capable of telling you what the real problems are. He just knows that he's miserable.

Stop taking things at face value. If you do, then you are acting like a daughter, not a wife. Look past the surface and get some insight.