So for the last 9 years I've managed to control my depression and bipolar episodes without meds or counseling. I still had instances but they seemed to be tolerable and not as extreme. I originally tried the med/therapy route but the meds turned me into a shell and the Dr's I felt never actually listened and just pushed more pills on me. One day I said enough and quit it all and with no more meds or docs to tell me I was in a episode I just buried myself in my art and it worked well. Well about 3 weeks ago I came across my wife's message to the neighbors about me venting to her but she said I was in the middle of a"pity party". I find it hard to trust folks and with her it was easy in the beginning and that was a tremendous help. But now I've resorted to keeping it all in again I have began to lose complete control of myself and actions. So I have no clue as to what to do. Or what point I'm making I just went on a tirade for which I apologize.