I was always alone, but I didn't really feel my loneliness until I got sick and I had no one to help me out or care for me. Part of it was my fault, I didn't reach out to anyone or make it obvious that I was unwell, but I suffered all alone. I had two good friends who would have helped me out, but I didn't want them to worry about me, I didn't want to be a burden, and I had a hard enough time caring about myself to begin with.

I feel like this is what life will always be like for me, fighting loneliness, I'm such a mess, I can't really connect with people because of my anxiety. I don't know why I isolate myself from the few good friends I have.