i am sorry that you are having to go thru this emotional turmoil. thank you for sharing it. it makes me feel less alone. i dont remember christmases, birthdays, dinners either. this week i discovered that i placed an order for clothes online for almost 200 dollars i have no memory of doing and thursday at work i had a complete breakdown because as i turned around to walk out of an office i ran smack into someone. it scared me to death. completely triggered me. i crumpled. i could not function. it was like my head cracked open and my world shattered. it is the most crazy i have felt ever. and part of my just keeps saying this is so silly. all i did was run into somebody. i hope your t is able to help you work thru this. take care