Hi there. I am new to this site and I am looking for some help. I have a really embarrassing problem and can't bring myself up to talking to a therapist about it. If anyone has any helpful ideas or suggestions, I would really appreciate it.

I've been having really disturbing sexual thoughts when my boyfriend and I are fooling around. I understand that people have weird thoughts sometimes but this is something I'm really obsessing over and can't get rid of. I often cannot enjoy sex because I'm so worried about these obtrusive thoughts popping up, and when the unwanted thoughts do come to me, my body suddenly has a physical reaction to it. My muscles suddenly feel very tense in that "area" and sometimes it almost starts to feel better when these weird thoughts happen. But mentally I feel really disgusted and we stop right away. I'm pretty sure I don't like these things, I am very disgusted by them, but then why does my body react to them??

I read that unwanted sexual thoughts can be a sign of OCD, and I do have other OCD symptoms such as obsessive worrying and checking to make sure the stove is off five times. I'm just worried that it may be something worse, since my body has a reaction to these thoughts.

I feel like a horrible person. I'm really scared and confused and its making me sick. I'm afraid to talk to a therapist because he or she may tell me that I'm some kind of creep who wants these things. Honestly I don't think I could live with that.

Thanks for taking the time to read this...let me know if you have had a similar problem or have any suggestions...thank you.