there is a technique called STPA. let me see if i can remember all the steps to adequately tell you about it. when you are upset, imagine a stop sign, a big red stop sign before your eyes. then think of STPA.
S-stands for Stop
T- stands for think about the situation. what are different ways you can handle this situation in a calm manner where nobody gets hurt.
P- stands for pause......take a few deep breaths- a quick comeback isnt always best
A- finally, if you are certain you have chosen the best response, put it into action in a calm controlled manner. waiting until you are calm is appropriate and ok.