well to me it sounds like you are hurt by the fact that you felt you had the support of your wife as a sounding board when you needed to talk about your overwhelming emotions and then discovered that she was not the support system you thought and has minimized your feelings. you have felt that you have been managing your bipolar well and come to find out that your wife has defined it otherwise. this has got to come as a blow to you.

it is very difficult for family and friends of bipolars to act as a support system. i know this as a fact. i had a very good friend finally get brave enough to be honest with me and tell me that i wear her out. that was like 15 years ago and i can still hear the exasperation in her voice as if she said it today.

that is the reason for therapy. you have an outsider you can dump anything and everything on without judgement. and i know you are against meds because what they did to you but i just have to say that you were on the wrong meds. it took me a LONG time to find the right meds, and a lot of advocating for myself with drs who i frustrated the hell out of because i refused to stay on meds very long "to see if the side effect wear off", but i just kept trying different meds every few months until i found the ones that let me function to the best of my ability without side effects. i am high functioning and value my brain and refused to take anything that was going to dull my mind. and with persistance, i found the right drugs and live a normal life without cycling anymore. it is fantastic. i still hate the fact that i am taking drugs, but after 30 years of chaos, i love the stability i have in my life today. that keeps me taking them.

if you ever need to vent feel free to pm me. take care.