In 1982 I was unwillingly drugged and raped by a group of my fellow students. One of the people involved was a girl I had fallen in love with, someone I trusted, adored, and I thought she would be my wife. I stayed in contact with her for 10 years after that night, as a matter of fact her picture hangs on the wall in front of me has I write this stuff. She had attempted to suduce me several times, she always had pot or some other drug she wanted me to try, but I don't do drugs. I would ask her to leave, yet I always let her back in to my life. She was physically abusive, at times, and I knew she used herion often. I wanted to safe her from all that. It is 25 years latter, I'm 49, unmarried, depressed, and I want to understand why she did that to me. I am ashamed to admit that I sat in my mother's house for 12 years and did not do anything. No job, no life, I just sat and waited to understand something. No answer came and I went to graduate school. The only way I got in was by the grace of God; I have a MS in pysical science with a 3.25 GPA, alot better than the 2.29 I had as an undergrad. By the way I went to the police, and they just laughed at me and joked about it, so did the folks at that towns hospital. I was out for three days. They probably used GHB and they injected me with some other drug, at least that what she told my mother back in 1999, when she called out of the blue and confessed to my mother.