I'm not exactly sure how to make you feel better as I feel the same way, but I just wanted to let you know that you're being heard. I am so sorry you are dealing with this, I know how hard and how tiring and how just done you might feel; but please hang on.
I believe you can do it. Please talk to someone about this.
Whether it be your husband, a friend, a therapist, a pdoc. Talking really helps and if you do take medication, maybe it is just the wrong combination and if you don't, maybe you need some.
Speak up. It's hard, I know, but it's the only way to feel better.

Please take care of yourself.
Check in again soon.