I'm feeling very stressed out and every second more that I'm alive feels like a lifetime. I do not know what to do. I feel like life is a very heavy burden that I must carry with me everywhere no matter what I do and I mean it truly feels very heavy, I can physically feel it both in my head and on my whole body like a crushing force. Talking to people and thinking feels like the greatest mental exercise in the world with such difficulty, even a single thought of just laying in bed or getting out of bed feels like I'm trapped in a deep mathematical equation like some sort of physicist. I feel like I just want to die, but am not going to actively seek death, so I do not know what to do. Should I go to the mental hospital? Will that just make me even more miserable like I'd expect it to, and knowing my intuition I am generally right about these gut feelings. I just feel utterly defeated, crushed, with no way to escape. I hate this living hell! Why must I or anyone else suffer like this? This is a fate worse than death.