I agree, I think meaning is a really really important thing. Maybe it comes with being depressed that there seems to be no meaning - is it a chicken and egg thing? Is it the depression that causes the person to feel that life has no meaning? If the depression fades then meaning in life can be found again. But feeling that life has no meaning can reinforce the depression? Like you I also found meaning in god when I was a teen, but I too moved away from that. At times I have found reflecting on philosophical issues and the meaning of life to be a helpful thing, somehow I feel there is a meaning. I have tried writing it here (what I see as the meaning) but I have deleted it. I'm not depressed, so is that why I feel there is meaning?