I just want to escape from everything. From everyone. Writing this I'm fighting the tears and the tightness in my chest thats getting more painful every second. Feeling so lost, alone, rejected, sad, hopeless and simply beaten down. I know there's times where I've felt better but today this pain is unbearable! I don't want to continue. I've never been suicidal, and I can say that I'm still not. But I just wish everything could come to an end for me. Maybe my meds are no longer working. But at this point I feel like I don't care and don't have the strength to want to do anything about it. I just want to submerge myself in the darkness and shrink away. I feel like nobody cares. I know some do. But they don't understand.