your boyfriend doesnt sound like an *** at all. it appears that there is an expectation for him to be the center of keeping you stable when you are unable to regulate your own emotions and this is too much of an expectation to place on another person. it is your own responsibility to not cut yourself and manage your feelings. nobody else can do that for you. if you need help with this, a therapist is who you go to for help. it is a bad sign for the relationship when his school comes before you though. that has got to make you feel less important and contribute to your negative feelings. there is a therapy called dbt. it is great for learning how to regulate emotions. i did the beginners class and it helped me immensely. a therapist would also give you the coping skills needed to help you deal with the loss of this relationship.