I've been in a difficult place for the last several days. Things are really good school is going well, could be better, but I am going to pass all my classes and make it through a whole semester first time in a year and half. I'm proud of the small steps I have taken still get frustrated sometimes with who I am and where I'm at in life, but it passes. So here's the problem I can not stop hurting myself it keeps escalating in aggressiveness and intensity. I'm working with T and she has good advice but I just can't stop. I just feel this overwhelming urge to treat myself like garbage and for the first time in my life I feel like I don't deserve this. When you think you are garbage then it make sense to treat yourself like ****, but when you don't think that way anymore and can't stop then what? I guess I am just ****ing crazy