Hi Arizonagreentea. I am sorry you are feeling torn between desire and relationships. I agree that sex without a relationship means very little and can cheapen the experience of sex with someone you don't know and may never see again. There is no point to me in that.

I think that people really crave emotional intimacy and by settling for physical intimacy alone feel let down. I think the following article differentiates between these two.
How Does Sex Differ from Intimacy? | World of Psychology

Keep in mind that the man's instinct is to procreate, where the woman is more into nurturing and relationships. The woman wants more than a 10 minute experience because she hardly has enough time for her body to be awakened before it is over. Also with the lingering doubts of being abandoned after a quickie probably puts up the walls to protect oneself from being hurt.

If it takes 5 years or more before you are in a relationship that warrants exploring physical intimacy, that is okay too. There is no rush.