Hi Zayabean, it sounds to me that it would take a lot for you (personally) to be considering checking into hospital, so if those are your feelings maybe you should give them some credence, It's not like you'd be "giving into them" it'd be much more about respecting the way you feel (you haven't got to those thoughts lightly!!) and wanting what's best for yourself. So keep that thought if you need to hey??
And there should be some services/help available at the hospital regardless of Easter I would have thought.......I'm not from your country but even if they are a bit slower on holidays there should be something?? So an option, even if you decide not to go with it today, tomorrow........it's still there.
And the crisis lines........do you think it might be easier to use an online crisis line whereas you don't need to physically/verbally get the words out but instead could try to type them out, a bit like on here?? Afterall you have expressed yourself so well on here. Maybe it could help??
And if your family had just a bit of an idea of how you're feeling, if you could tell them just a bit?? Do you think they could help some?? Even if they can't do anything to help you emotionally (although maybe??) then perhaps they could at least help in some practical sense?? Take some of the "burdens"/responsibilities off you as it sounds like you're trying to cope with a lot. However well a 5 year old is behaved, it's still got to be tough in itself, nevermind some of the other things you're needing to do, while you're feeling like this (!!) so if they could do some of those other things for you???
It's really got to be time to put your needs first. Sometimes it just isn't a choice but to do that, and now's the time yes??
So please reach out for some more help, anyone would seriously struggle in your situation/with the way you're feeling, and no-one would deserve to go through it alone/without help/support
Alison