Relationships ending are generally hard to cope with... But when you make that person the centre of your world and your whole life revolves around them, including your wellbeing, well those are just devastating...


I did that to myself twice, which caused huge problems the first time as I was devastated over leaving an abusive man... The mental spiral and self loathing that followed was not pretty I assure you.


What I am trying to say is this, extricate yourself as an individual, your plans, aspirations and whatnot from this person.


Whether you reconcile or not.


A partner is not supposed to be our everything, they're supposed to complement that which already exists...


Another thing I needed to remind myself of is this, he is just a person, he poops and pees just like I do, so no reason to put him on a pedestal he never even asked for with god-like status and become my reason for breathing.


I also agree that you are in need of a therapist, I doubt bfs break up with you because you have a MH diagnosis, but could be that you're leaning too heavily on them and that causes them to buckle under the weight.


That's what happened with my last break up, we managed to reconcile eventually though, once he realized I was getting my shyt together and that there was no threat of being drowned in my suffering.


You are in my thoughts.