Quote:
Originally Posted by AzulOscuro
Hello, again Little Lost!
Why do you think that your children will be happy when you pass away?
Are you having problems with them? If you don't mind answer the question.
You had children. You created life. This is something very important you did.
How are your kids? Are they studying...? If you feel like talking about the topic.
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It is a long story - I have it in a couple discussions but thank you for asking. It is way long but there is no easy short way to so it and I don't blame anyone who says "too much info".
If you want to - maybe this will get you there
http://forums.psychcentral.com/copin...eptable-2.html
I know my younger son has said over a decade ago that he felt like he had the greater "responsibility" or involvement whenever I was sick because he lives closer and now I'm sure that feeling has multiplied.
I think I am a burden to them. I think they have forgotten all the good things and they don't like who I am today - they might not have admitted it before.
Borderline people, i have read, have black and white thinking - something or someone is either good or bad, no in between and i guess I have to agree with that. There's no such thing as mediocre relationships - its either good or not as far as friends go etc.
I don't like that but for me I think I "learned it" or "acquired it" from my sorry association with the Catholic Church. Because of my nature, introspective and sensitive, I took it all too much to heart - more than it should have been or deserved - and that's where I learned about good vs. bad as far as sins go. I could never decide between venial and mortal sins so I just decided to be on the safe side I would assume they were all mortal sins. Which painted me into a very tight corner to go along with the very tight corner my parents strict nature painted me into as well.
My dad would have let me go, though, my mother couldn't let go - and that's what all children eventually need and want - to be on their own - she had an iron fist and wasn't afraid to use it. Even when I was married with a home of my own and children she interfered in places she had no right to - she was very opinionated. Somehow she always had an excuse why the very things that i did that she condemned were okay for her - there was always a "but you don't understand its different for me". I think she pretty much was the driving force in our house - if she was on her war horse and you were the target you're in for a very hard time - my dad felt it - so did my sister.
My brother whom she worshipped lived in another world really - he did not know the mother the rest of us did.