I spent the last few hours lost in dissociation. Nothing was real. I couldn't figure out why I am here. Why I am unable to connect to the world. I ask myself if I wanted to go, but I don't, I am going to move to a place where no ones knows me. Where I can be invisible, where I can hide. I can be anyone I want to be. I can get lost in the world. I believe if I move away I will not come back. I will be someone else. But I don't know who. I could be homeless, or live in isolation. I will go unnoticed. I will be able to move through without friction. No one will know I exist. I just can't decide if that is what I need. If that will free me from being on the outside looking in. maybe i will embrace the outside and stay there. People who know me now expect me to be a certain way. But I am not that person. I am becoming more isolated. I can be completely isolated if I move where no one knows me. I think if I leave I will not come back. I am trying to decide if this is what i need.