I took a big leap and ate at an awesome restaurant with family today. I've eaten there before, so I knew it was okay. Now I'm worried at the way I'm feeling. It's probably anxiety.

And Friday, I had a panic attack at work. Worst thing ever. I tried my best to keep cool, I couldn't breathe. I told my work that I'd eaten something I was allergic to and couldn't breathe. I went out in my car, took a nausea pill (because I was feeling nauseous, that's why I was panicking) and began to cry because I walked out of work (with permission, of course). Now, I went back in there to finish up my job. I worked an 8 hour shift that day. I went back to finish the 5 hours I had left. Should I look at myself as a failiure, or an accomplishment? I feel good that I finished the rest of my 5 hours, and heck yeah to a big paycheck this week. but still, that is my question.

I also ate about 6 hours ago, and it was the only meal I ate. If I don't think the food is poisoned, I think I have the flu. If I don't think I have the flu, I think the food is poisoned. It's an awful way to live, being afraid of what you eat all the time. I got a new bottle of Buspirone and I'm reluctant to take it. Maybe I should just take it. We'll see.

But my question is still at the top. Failure or accomplishment?

Thanks.