Hmmm. I think we might be using "tough love" differently.

When I hear "tough love", I think about people (particularly parents) setting consequences for inappropriate behavior (especially with addicts). So, for example, a parent saying, "I love you son/daughter, but if you don't go to rehab, you can't live here anymore."

Most people find that hard, because most people don't want to actually carry through the consequences.

I have trouble seeing how a T could apply this, except maybe in cases where the client is a clear danger to themselves, and refusing to check themselves in for help? Like, if you don't check yourself in, I will be forced to have you hospitalized against your will?

But, it sounds like (as others pointed out) you're just talking about being very honest about things that one might not like hearing.

My T has certainly done that (though he tries to be gentle with it, I think, since I'm pretty hyper-sensitive).

Best example, early on, I wrote a little about some trauma that I am in no way ready to jump into yet. I wanted him to know, so he'd have context for other things I was talking about, and have the full picture.

He misunderstood, and thought that since I gave it to him, I was saying that I wanted to start working on it. When I vehemently protested , he asked me WHEN I wanted to work on it... and I'm pretty sure the first thing out of my mouth was, "Uh, NEVER!"

He very gently, very calmly said to me... in these exact words... "I'm sorry, but as your therapist, I can not support that."

I actually really respect that (but am grateful that he managed to say it in a soft, caring tone of voice). Because it's really hard to tell someone something they need to hear, but that they don't want to hear. I'm sure it wasn't an easy thing for him to say, and I hadn't been coming long, so there was a big risk that it would scare me away.

But, you know what, it actually felt kind of *caring* to me (like he cares enough about my well-being to not take the easy route of saying, "OK, sure, no problem, we can just skip over all that unpleasantness and go back to talking about kittens.")

Not sure if that's what you meant?