(((Scarlet))) I'm sorry things have been rough again. I think it's really a process, with lots of ups-and-downs (unfortunately). I wish emotional stuff could be linear, where we just get a little bit better every second of the day until everything is totally healed up. If only, right?

You're not letting anyone down. I'm glad you're ok though, and that you were able to get stitches for your cut. Are you going to be able to talk to the new-T this week about boundaries, maybe? I'm just thinking, if you can get it ironed out with her, that may help to at least explicitly know what her expectations are, and how available she'll be outside sessions?

Since she works with DBT, I'd be *shocked* if she were shocked about your SI. You might want to gently bring it up, and tell her that you're confused about the expectations, whether you should tell her right away, in session, not at all, or what.

Have you looked at any of the free classes online? The big ones that have tons of people in them sharing forums for questions and what not? I'm not sure if you're up for it, but it might give you something to do that would help you prepare (and feel more confident) for when you go back to school, but with a whole lot less pressure (you can just watch the videos and not participate if you want to, since they're not for a grade).

I've done a couple through http://coursera.org/ but not sure if there's anything there you'd like. I'm sure there are other places that are similar... Just a thought.

*hang in there*