I used to fantasize about someone in my family becoming ill or me ending up in a hospital because I wanted certain people to comfort me. I was really looking for that from these people that meant a lot to me and that's the only way I thought it would ever happen.

If what you really want is someone to come rescue you or comfort you, I totally understand where you're coming from. I didn't have anyone take care of me when I was hurting as a child and that's what I always wanted, and still want sometimes...I'm working on it

I would tell your T exactly what you just wrote. There could be something really important buried under there that is worth digging out.