I let my mind wonder today, which I shouldn't let happen until I'm more comfortable with myself, and I went into a fit of anger thinking about the people offline who responded so carelessly after I've told them about my past abuse. I only told them as a means to recover and get over it, and some people just found out through secondhand means. Maybe it's because they didn't know the whole story, but it seems like most peoples' response to my abuse was, "Eh, it was bad. Whatever." It makes me feel like the abuser is here all over again, yelling, "I was right!" and that I deserved the abuse, and still do, whenever someone reacts with so little emotion. This is what makes me so upset. All the fear, anger, hyperventilation, frustration, and beating of my dignity was only worth an, "Eh." It has, thankfully, taught me to be much more careful about who I go to to speak about my abuse. Also, I'd tell them the whole story next time. However, I'm not sure I'd feel too comfortable saying exactly what happened to me.

One time I was pushed beyond my fear of my father's abuse and, knowing full well he would find out about it and use it to abuse me further, I went to a family member for help. They let me down... They told me they'd talk to me later, because they were busy with their friends, and they never did. They just didn't care. And I've never forgotten.

I'm sure there are people out there who relate to this. If so, I'm real sorry . I'd be happy to listen to your stories if you feel you can share.