I'm 19 and met a guy on the 14th of March at a night club and I took him home with me. This was the first time I'd ever gone home with a guy. There was just something about him. We didn't end up having sex but we slept in my bed and kissed and stuff. He also spent the next day with me. Even at the time; it was such a strange experience. I seldom invite people so openly into my life. We tried to see each other again that week but it was difficult because we were both very busy with work/study. On the 21st he said he was going out with friends and asked if he could come over to mine after town. I said yes, I understood that this probably meant from 4am onward. He never showed up and the next afternoon I found out that he'd died. He'd attempted a stunt, jumping off a crane into the harbour but he landed on his back. I have been devastated. I did talk to a couple of his friends and one of them said he did mention meeting me and that he said he had a feeling it was going to be something really special. I've become so sentimental about it. I feel like It's affected me too much. It's been two weeks now and I think about death all the time. I'm still sad for the loss of his life and I'm still frustrated, but I feel okay in general, I'm resuming my life. I'm not depressed about it. But I feel like my life has changed forever, and that frightens me. I don't know when I'll be able to stop thinking about him. Is this normal? Am I even entitled to grieve over him this way? I only knew him for just over a week