I also think about suicide as being my "escape hatch." Having it there just in case comforts me. When I ran cross-country in high school I did something similar to Genevieve's horse-jumping solution: I would watch for small cliffs to fall off or holes to turn my ankle in. Only did this once, when I was totally panicking. Everyone thought I was having an asthma attack so they were very sympathetic!

When I lived in a rural area I was on IRC every night in a room for people with mental illnesses. It helped a lot. I also had a worst-case scenario plan, how to get to a town a few hundred miles away with a good hospital in case I needed to be hospitalized. Fortunately I never did, but having the plan eased my mind a bit.

Also, would your psychologist be willing to do sessions over the phone? It wouldn't be the same as in-person, but it's better than nothing. Or maybe with cameras on the computer? My husband and I have used the cameras and headphones on our computers when apart. I forget what program we used, but I could find out if you're interested?

Good luck,
apislily