I do appreciate the fact that you took the liberty to explain your mental process. Now, what I want you to do, is to make a full thread and blow off as much steam as you desire, message me if you want, and write as much as you can about how you feel, and remember, in this site, you will find me and other people who will care. Just by saying that your wife don't even know what you told me, makes me want to help you more, and listen to you more, so feel free to talk freely whenever you feel up to it.