Pain radiates from the street that isn't good with names. Pain permeates the trees that have long awaited respite from the saw. Pain succumbs to the rhythm of the train. And I cannot go outside, for there is no rhythm in the rain.

Today has been interesting. I woke up and felt an inexplicable strangeness booming from my head to my toes. The medication I have been taking for the past little while has driven me further and further into hell. It has made clear thought impossible, it has taken away any will to get better. It has created an apathy that is sinking into my bones making it harder and harder to be. I want to feel the warmth on my skin from a lover's touch. I want to feel the particles of light from the sun to shower me in it's radiance. I want to know what it's like to feel pain and not shatter. To feel sorrow and not collapse. I want to know how not to hate the breath that passes out of my lungs. To not loathe this bag of bones. Needless to say I am not well today and I will not be well tomorrow. But I will persist.