I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse and neglect. I know clearly that what happened to me during my childhood and adolescence was abuse. What I am not sure about is something my mother used to do to me when I was really little and I'm trying to figure out why she did what she did an d whether it's considered abusive. I'm just not sure, so thought I'd take the risk and ask on here what other people make of it It's embarrassing, but here goes...

Possible trigger
She used to wake me up in the middle of the night and take me to the bathroom and put me on the toilet. I often didn't need to 'go' she would just take me there. If I didn't start urinating straight away, she would tickle me in my private parts. I would tell her 'don't, I don't like it' and try to push her hands away. She would just laugh and giggle and keep doing it. I'm confused by what happened. If she was a male, I would have more concern around what happened. But she was my mum and I can't bring myself to think of what she did as abusive.

I guess I'm wondering what others make of it. I can't really talk about it with people, so thought this might be a good place to start. Any opinion would be greatly appreciated. Thanks x