I remember destroying many of my journals, I guess the few that survived were packed up in the constant house moving and missed the destroying festivities.

There is good in there too - but mostly bad and acknowledging the good is mostly fake and never lasts.

I cant deal today. I've meditated, done some craft, attempted to clean (which ended up with me sitting on the floor staring at the mess for about half an hour), watched a tv show that usually is a good distraction but couldnt pay attention to it. I've even resorted to eating a whole easter bunny in one sitting thinking chocolate would lift my mood. None has helped and all I want to do is but that would make my partner really really mad.

I have a lot more I need to do in regards to cleaning, and prepping my horse but it all feels so hard and useless.

It makes me very depressed that this is my life and that all I can do is continue to cope. And it makes me sad and hopeless that so many are in the same boat.

Im tired and crying and I guess the option my pdocs would want me to take right now is prn medication. So then I will be drugged and useless the rest of the day. And probably starving because my partner took my car and I have no food in the house that doesnt require the use of a knife.

Im completely over this and just want it to end.