Quote:
Originally Posted by seeker1950
I realize now, in retrospect, that my relationships with men had been varying degrees of narcissists, but the one that led me to research was a textbook narcissist. When I would deign to question anything of him, a dark shadow would come over his face, and his eyes would become dead.
Very early on in the relationship, after meeting thru Match.com, he began talking of marriage. I was naïve, and we lived almost two hours apart. We began looking at real estate between our two locations, since we were both employed. We found a lovely farm, and made the initial steps to purchase it. The first evidence I should have noticed was during the meeting with the realtor, my partner stated he had nothing to contribute toward the purchase. Like a dummy, I went ahead and signed the agreement. So the purchase was in effect, and the sale of my house came thru! Then...my partner tells me he has been notified by the state of Indiana that his wages are being garnisheed by the IRS and also for back child support! Hearing this news, I realized that the property, which would be purchased in both our names, would be subject to seizure and affected by his status in IRS and back child support, I called the realtor and cancelled the sale of my house (much to the realtor's unhappiness!). After that, the man, my "partner" disappeared!
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Wow, that guy was definitely looking for a victim to use! Sorry to hear that! From now on, google every guy that you plan to date. If he sounds to good to be true at first, then he probably is. They like to rush relationships and they are highly adept at telling you what you want to hear. They don't like to be "challenged". They'll be secretive and act different around other people at times. They're good actors and liars.
A lot of manipulative men will tell a woman that they want to marry them and have kids with them almost right away. They'll tell you that they love you and that you're special. You can't really love someone that you barely know. That's another red flag to look out for. They'll complain about how all of their ex's were "crazy". They'll also turn on the charm real high and they'll quickly seduce you to get you hooked on them.
Remember, once you stop flattering them and making them feel like they're a priority in their life, their attitude will do a drastic 180. They run hot and cold all the time, especially when they don't get their way. They love to use the silent treatment to punish people. Sometimes they'll throw tantrums when they don't get their way. They're always the victim or the hero in every story.
They hate to be questioned and they are very sensitive to any real or perceived criticism. They need a steady supply of adoration, praise, attention, and anything that you can provide for them. They'll leave you once you stop giving them what they want, or when they feel as if they no longer need you anymore for validation, status, money, etc...
If you haven't checked out the links already, please do so to protect yourself from these predators. Don't reveal to much of yourself and your vulnerable side to early on as they'll use that against you. They are good at finding out how to push your buttons early on. Trust your gut and your instincts. If you get a bad feeling from that person, don't ignore it.