no point in making new thread so well.. I asked my friend to come here today because I feel lonely and anxious, my heart hurts today a lot so I'm scared of being alone.. but at the same time I feel like I don't want her to come here.. how it is even possible to feel need of company and need of loneliness at the same time? besides I'm just existing, I feel totally no purpose in life, I have nothing to do, can't force myself to do anything...