I can't maintain willpower or self control or whatever it is that's needed to stop emailing my old therapist. It happens about once a week.

The rest of life is ok and good (I mean I still have lots of stuff to sort out, in terms of getting where I want to be, but I'm handling it all fine - being patient with myself and reaching out to friends when I have bad anxiety) but she is still in my head. I get massively overwhelmed with love for her and bewilderment and hurt and a sense of it being all wrong that she is as good as a stranger to me now, and send a text or email.

What do I do?

I don't have another therapist to examine this with. I will probably have one in July, but I don't want to keep going like this until then.