Quote:
Originally Posted by Echos Myron
How does she respond? I too understand the draw of the former therapist. I still feel love for T1 and think about contacting him often. Luckily I have another T to process this with, and I am discovering that beneath the love lies resentment and anger, much of it displaced. I know you have some underlying less positive emotions towards your T too and it's very emotionally confusing. A new T will be invaluable for you. In the meantime please try to remember the pain she caused you before you hit send
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I'm glad it's working for you, processing this stuff with your new T. I am really keen to do that, about 50% of the time - the rest of the time I feel a bit cynical and also confused. It will be DBT I start in the summer, and it appeals partly because of the seminar style approach - I'm good at that sort of thing, and won't have to push myself uncomfortably. There won't be a really intense focus on attachment.
I remember very clearly the pain she caused me - that always features in the emails too. I want answers, which I understand I won't ever get, but I feel driven to keep asking the questions anyway.
I don't want her to be my therapist again. I don't think. I don't even know in what way I miss her, but it's like a terrible ache at times. I keep looking back and trying to assess whether I imagined it all, but I don't think I did. It was like having amazing chemistry with her, but no overt sexual attraction - but maybe I repressed that part.