You are absolutely not a bad person. Looking up your T online is not a terrible thing to do. She would not think you a bad person at all for doing this.

I understand your feelings around finding out these things. It is one reason why I would not want to know whether my T has children... it is completely understandable. Please be kind to yourself. Is there any possibility that you could talk to your T about this?

added: I just saw your latest post: please stay safe - can you call the Samaritans or some other crisis line?