It always helps me to go on a walk/run. I really don't know what it does - I'm able to cry/process alone. I always feel better.

Have you and your T ever discussed talking to your parents about transference? I have maternal transference with my T. and SHE told me my husband needed to come in. We have one joint session a month (not that I'm recommending that frequency) and she has explained transference to him and I've tried to express how I feel. I know you probably don't want to talk to your parents about your feelings but it might help for them to know generally what you're going through?

I also understand not wanting to share it with them - I was not close to my mom. Or, do you have a friend you can confide in?

Also, use all these feelings to try to figure out why it bothers you she has children. She's NOT going to change how she interacts with you and I think most T's see their clients as their children. I told my T. "you're not my mom" when I was mad and she said she kind of is and we're only 6 years apart.

And, don't beat yourself up - it's totally normal to have curiosity about your T. I did a fair amount of research myself. Someone once said it's a way for us to get/feel closer to our T. This would be a good opportunity for you to talk to your T. about how her having a family affects you. You could always say you guessed she had kids because she seems motherly? you don't have to mention what you found.

Hang in there and I promise these feelings will lessen and you'll get through them. I hope you can find other ways to cope.