I hate therapy so damn much. I don't even know why I'm going. Before I started, I had some issues, but not very serious ones. I didn't struggle with depression, or SI or anything like that. I wanted to deal with some things that were causing friction in some relationships. That was all.

Now I feel like a nut case. I don't sleep well anymore. I'm angry a lot of the time. I feel emotionally off-kilter.

I don't think therapists care and I can't imagine how they possibly could care. It's not possible to care about someone you see once a week. It's just not. 50 minutes is not enough time.

And then there's the fees. The crazy, exorbitant fees that I know people here explain away as overheads, etc. But you know what? Owning and riding a horse is less expensive than therapy. And that's saying a lot as horses pretty much eat money. A reasonable fee per hour is about $50-70 per hour. That's a good fee and it is a lot more than most professionals make, but therapists charge triple to quadruple that, right up there with lawyers (who have a lot more education, and who don't require being paid every week) and other seriously professional professionals, which I don't think most therapists are.

I feel like therapy is draining my bank account and my sanity. And yet, everyone seems to think it's this gloriously good idea, and I'll somehow get 'better' if I keep sacrificing income at the altar of some modern day guru who sits there listening and claims some completely intangible 'therapeutic relationship' will help things.

Reading people's stories here doesn't help either, as it seems like most posters here are actively being harmed by their therapists in some way. And it seems like they'd stand up for themselves, but they can't because they're afraid of losing a connection which I don't think really exists anyway - because real connections aren't lost if you stop paying someone.

Therapy is a pecuniary arrangement which attempts to simulate a meaningful relationship, but fails by every easily discernable measure. And that makes people feel insecure, which they attribute to some personal shortcoming, when it's just the nature of the therapy itself which makes one feel that way.

It's not representative of some kind of attachment difficulty if you don't trust someone who only pretends to care if you pay them. It's common sense.

And yeah, I know nobody wants to read that, but I'm sure that is at the root of most everyone's anxieties about therapy. It's the fact that, at the end of the day, we're sitting in a room with someone who had to be paid to pretend to give a ****. And who apparently needs to be paid an awful lot to do that pretending, because that pretending is super, super hard for them to maintain.

I hate the way my therapist basically powers down at the end of every session like a damn robot.

I hate the way my therapist cuts me off because the 50 minutes are up so I can just **** off until next week, when I will be cut off yet again.

I hate how I'm expected to believe in something which clearly isn't real.

I hate how therapy triggers every single trauma you ever had and then just leaves you twisting in the wind.

I hate how therapists seem to think they can help, but they really actually don't.

I hate how therapists hide behind weasel words which obscure the fact that they're only about 10% better than talking to a brick wall.

And I really hate that I'm still going because, apparently, part of my stupid brain is curious to see how this trainwreck plays out.