i can't ever get over this. i can't contact my T, she has no idea i have maternal transference for her, she doesn't even know that I KNOW WHAT TRANSFERENCE IS we have never spoken about transference. i can't speak to her again. i feel like she has abandoned me, by having children. i am not close to my mother. i always dreamed my T was my mother. but she has children.

oh God, i can't deal with this.

i am absolutely devastated, i don't think i should be here