Hello Sylver.SS, welcome to Psych Central.

You expressed yourself very well in writing. We can't diagnose here but it sounds like you have several mental health issues going on at the same time. I hope that you have a mental health team/therapist to help you with all this. It is very distressing to feel so paranoid all the time. It does sound like depression (sleep disturbance/ not wanting to wash etc) and anxiety (we can be so fearful that we can imagine things that really aren't there) and ADHD may be a possibility with the attention problems that you have. There may be other issues as well going on, I mean have you been tested for physical issues, had bloods taken etc? If not, this would be a good idea as it could be a thyroid issue or something else that is causing the sleep issues.

We do have some online tests you can do here >>>> The Sanity Score and Psychological Tests and Quizzes you could print out the results and show these to your doctor. I do hope you get some joy soon.