Hi connect.the.stars,
"Just feeling like a failure. Lonely. No support. But people are there. I just choose not to ask. Kind of stupid"
No, not kind of stupid
Sometimes feelings/thoughts like that leave you kind of "speechless", afterall the "facts" are the "facts"........where do you begin, how can words really match what you're feeling/can they really "get it", what can people say maybe they can give you "platitudes" or maybe they'll say the obvious which you know might ("or might not be") true but you can't feel it.........those kind of things. But it's not stupid, and you know that
The thing is though that sometimes reality is outside of those feelings which can be so hard to get away from, and you're not a failure, you really aren't!! That's clear "just" from your posts/threads, however hard you're finding things.

And loneliness...........well maybe if you can find a way to reach out just a little more?? Maybe if you can find that "door" to open up to people out there (just like you do on here)??
Not easy I know, so it's not your attitude, it's just not easy, but if............hopefully there are people out there who can support you or be around for you, as well as us!!!

And the mistakes you keep making.....are they really mistakes, are they human error, are they understandable considering........., are they effects of........, can you step by step learn from them, are they part of the journey towards not making them, can some more support help you make them less...........??? Sometimes all we see are "mistakes" but sometimes either they aren't so much, or the journey doesn't need to stop there

And.........."I'm tired of putting up with myself and my own attitude"..........maybe not seeing yourself the way we do, and a bit more self-compassion??? Maybe that's the here and now you're experiencing.........but there IS a whole lot more to/about you than you're thinking??? Maybe (maybe definitely!!) with support you can move past this feeling???
Because you know, it is understandable how it can seem so hard for you, but you are worth way more than the feelings you're feeling.........and letting them out, keeping reaching for support may help with that.



Alison